


It must be love

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Tumblr prompts [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Insecure Raphael, M/M, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Romantic Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, supportive Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:45:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9408056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: The sound of the doorbell caused Raphael to jump slightly and his heart started pounding even harder when he walked to the front door, wiping his slightly sweaty hands on his thighs and taking a deep, calming breath that didn't actually do much. He needed to do this before he proposed a proper relationship, it wouldn't be fair to Simon otherwise because he had a right to know what he was getting into.When Raphael opened the door, he was met with Simon's usual beaming smile, eyes bright and cheeks red from the cold. His "Hey" sounded small and soft, despite his obvious giddy mood, and he leant in to brush a feathery kiss to Raphael's lips that left him ridiculously breathless. He was so gone for this boy and that fact made him even more scared about coming out because what if Simon decided that Raphael wasn't what he wanted after all?





	

**Author's Note:**

> _How about Saphael + ace!Raphael + coming out to his boyfriend Simon_
> 
> So much yes!! :D I love writing Saphael fluff and I always have ace(-spec)!Rapha anyway so...here we go.

Raphael couldn't quite believe that he had been dating Simon for almost three months now and that everything went so perfectly smoothly between them, that he had finally decided to ask the other if they wanted to make it official because so far they hadn't labelled what they were and he would really, really love to be able to call this nerdy, doe-eyed boy his boyfriend. There was just one small thing in the way and that was the fact that Raphael wasn't out to the other yet and for some reason, the prospect of coming out to Simon was pretty terrifying.

He was out to his mum for a few years already now after Magnus, his best friend, had convinced him to be honest about who he was. Guadalupe had been confused because she had never heard about asexuality before but she asked him to explain and when Raphael was done, she hugged him and told him she loved him no matter what. And that he would find a person one day that thought the exact same in a romantic way because that was what her beloved son deserved. He still felt all warm whenever he thought back to that day.

Now, though, he was waiting for Simon to arrive to tell him as well and in case he reacted positively, he would add the question of starting a serious relationship. If it didn't go well...he didn't even want to think of this possibility. Simon was always cheerful and so far accepting of everyone, so why wouldn't he be okay with Raphael being asexual? But there was still this nagging doubt in the back of his mind because this was different - being friends with people of all kinds of orientations and gender identities was one thing but it didn't mean Simon also wanted a relationship with someone so different.

The sound of the doorbell caused Raphael to jump slightly and his heart started pounding even harder when he walked to the front door, wiping his slightly sweaty hands on his thighs and taking a deep, calming breath that didn't actually do much. He needed to do this before he proposed a proper relationship, it wouldn't be fair to Simon otherwise because he had a right to know what he was getting into.

When Raphael opened the door, he was met with Simon's usual beaming smile, eyes bright and cheeks red from the cold. His "Hey" sounded small and soft, despite his obvious giddy mood, and he leant in to brush a feathery kiss to Raphael's lips that left him ridiculously breathless. He was so gone for this boy and that fact made him even more scared about coming out because what if Simon decided that Raphael wasn't what he wanted after all?

"So, what's up? You sounded nervous on the phone and you honestly look kind of pale," Simon prompted right after entering the hallway and getting rid of his shoes and jacket. Raphael would never not by surprised by how perceptive the other was and he took another deep breath while sinking down on the couch, avoiding eye contact without really meaning to.

"I...I wanted to talk to you about something. Or...tell you something, to be more precise," Raphael murmured and he already felt his throat closing up a little, the insecurities crawling up his chest to suffocate him. He had accepted who he was and never minded it but now that there was someone he liked, more than liked, he suddenly went back to wishing he was _normal_ \- whatever that even meant. He could almost hear Magnus's voice calling him a moron.

"Okay? I hope it's nothing bad? You're scaring me a little, to be honest," Simon replied and his cheerful smile was now replaced with a worried frown. He reached out to cover Raphael's hand with his own, tangling their fingers together and giving them a reassuring squeeze, silently prompting him to go on and just say it.

"It's nothing bad. At least...I hope so? Maybe it is," he sighed and squeezed Simon's fingers as well, resisting the urge to pull the other boy closed and just curl up in his arms instead of talking about this.

"I...I wanted to ask you if, maybe, you would want to go steady with me _but_ there's something you should know about me first." He had meant to come out first and then explain why he chose to do that now but his mouth clearly didn't listen to his brain right now and he could understand how Simon always felt with his lack of brain-to-mouth-filter, how the other liked to call it.

"Oh...and I was scared that you would tell me the complete opposite and maybe wanted to end things," Simon replied with wide eyes, followed by a chuckle because he probably realised how silly this thought had been considering the fact how obviously smitten Raphael was with him and how he was clutching Simon's hand like a lifeline right now. He brushed his thumb over the back of Raphael's hand and pulled it close, pressing a gentle kiss to the other's knuckles.

"So, tell me your dark secret that you think will scare me off. Are you a vampire?"

Raphael's head shot up with an incredulous expression at that question but Simon only grinned at him with a shrug, clearly wanting to lighten the mood.

"No, I'm not a vampire and the fact that I haven't burnt to a crisp on one of our breakfast dates should tell you as much," Raphael replied with a fond eye roll before getting serious again. He squeezed Simon's fingers a little harder and averted his gaze, decided to stare at the small coffee table instead of looking at his hopefully-soon-boyfriend.

"I'm--I'm asexual."

A brief moment of silence followed that caused Raphael to tense up even more and his nerves spiked, waiting for Simon to react negatively but all that followed after a few seconds or minutes was a surprised "Huh" from the other.

"So...that's all" Simon asked and Raphael had to look up again, surprised and confused now. Simon didn't seem to look at him any differently, he actually looked kind of amused.

" _That's all_?" Raphael echoed and raised his eyebrows when the other laughed with a shrug.

"What do you want me to say? I thought you were about to tell me something bad or horrible because you thought it would change my answer but why would I mind you being asexual? Like, I get that you wanted to tell me and that it's always difficult to come out to someone but, come on, you know I'm pansexual and that I lo-like you for who you are. This," he raised his hand that wasn't entangled with Raphael's to rest his palm against the other's chest, right where his heart was beating in a still frantic rhythm, "is what I like most about you. Your slightly grumpy but very, very big and soft heart. Not to forget about that very smart, and very pretty, head of yours."

Simon leant in to press his lips against said head, pressing a lingering kiss to Raphael's forehead, followed by his temple and cheekbone.

"You're amazing and not just your looks are gorgeous. I would love to be your boyfriend and I'm proud of you for telling me but that doesn't change the way I feel about you. You can always tell me if you're not comfortable with something," Simon almost whispered, a genuine and loving smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and Raphael felt like his heart wanted to burst right out of his chest, swelling with _love_ for this amazingly beautiful boy.

"Thank you," he breathed and ignored that his voice was actually a little shaky but Simon didn't call him out on it, instead chose to seal his lips with a sweet kiss and Raphael felt himself melt against his _boyfriend_. He really wondered why he had been so scared of coming out to the other. This was Simon, after all, this boy seemed incapable of being anything less than accepting and loving.


End file.
